Thursday, March 14, 2013

Syntax... The tax we all neglect

Syntax is defined as the order in which we place words to derive meaning. In other words, syntax is what we get from what we speak. A lot of times what we are trying to say to another individual is interpreted differently then how we intended or what we thought we were saying. This phenomenon is due to syntax. This communication gap is evident between two universal classes of our society... Men and women, both of which think very differently. Biologically this makes sense due to the vast differences in both the chemical and physical makeup of our bodies, but it is because of these differences that we must take precaution in what we say. Many times what we mean to say is understood differently then what was intended. Could we be giving off vibes that aren't meant to be given? Could our failure in realizing the opposite gender's interpretation of what we're saying be the cause of failing relationships around the world??

Through both word association and analysis of previous works we can see patterns in both the male and female response to specific situations and scenarios. After interviewing a handful of unnamed individuals, both male and female we can see a distinct difference in how men and women associate with different words in the context of relationship. The analysis of the two classes reveals that women think more on an emotional basis responding to words such as "pain" and "love" with emotional responses such as "crying" and "happiness" while men responded to the two words with answers such as "blood" and "relationship," more concrete and tangible ideas. Just through these interviews pertaining to word association we can already see the evident difference in the way men and women think.

In the online article, "Sex Differences in Syntax and Usage In Oral and Written Language" Gayle B. Price and Richard L. Graves state that the theory that girls are superior in language skills (i.e communication) is a common saying that lacks sufficient evidence. What we can tell however, is that their are certain situations in which boys and girls behave drastically different. Let us take jealousy for instance, in a relationship setting that is. In more situations then less, men are typically more jealous then women. We can see this every day and everywhere. If we look into this situation it makes sense. Men have this innate sense of territoriality. We men like to conquer, pillage, plunder, destroy, claim what is ours, defend it to the death! But on a more serious note, we men don't like to share, especially when it comes to our women. So most situations that can even be considered a threat to us men, we tend to OCCASIONALLY overreact and DEFEND WHAT IS OURS!!!

On the other hand women typically tend to struggle with trust more then men. While we men blow up over a possibly insignificant situation that seemed like a threat, resulting in jealousy, women tend to struggle with trust. Take for example, the lack of communication scenario. Many times when a man in a relationship does not keep in contact with his lady friend, his women assumes he is out romping in the grass with every other woman. Not to say this happens every time, but come on, we have all seen it one time or another.

Now take these examples and tell me, does it not make sense that language differs between males and females? Should we not consider the possibility that when we speak to a member of the opposite sex we may be giving off vibes, we may be saying something we do not intend? Oh, but they should know right??? A member of the opposite sex should just know what your meaning to say. Too much work to think about what they might think! If they don't get the meaning their not worth it anyway right? Come on guys, ladies, they need to start making omnipotent members of the opposite sex. Am I right, or am  right?? NO, we do NOT need to consider the other meanings of our words. They just need to know.


Sources: (www.venusboyz.com/PDF/DissertationFVoegeli.pdf),(http://jstor.org/discover/),( www.unige.ch/fapse/psycholinguistique/.../Vigliocco_Franck_1999)

Thursday, February 7, 2013

REAL men don't need to wash their hands

   Deep in the tropics of the Congo, hundreds of miles from civilization, a single soldier treks through the jungle. No food, only a mouthful of water left in his canteen, he watches as an ostrich eats from a bush directly in front of him. The burly soldier slowly pulls out his awesome battle knife tosses it aside, whatever, real men don't need weapons. Jumps on the ostrich tackling it onto the ground and bashing in its head with a rock. Tears the head off the bird and he suddenly remembers... he didn't wash his hands. With only a mouthful of water left what the hell is he going to do?

   Same exact situation last week. I'm out in the woods all alone, full of creatures. Wasn't scared. What do you think I did about that water? That's right, drank it with a side of oversized chicken, like a boss. Because what? REAL men don't need to wash their hands. Our muscles are so deep that when sickness tries to get in our guts and insides, our muscles stop them. It's like the guy from the bible? He never washed and was like uber strong cause God was like don't wash and be manly... and I will make you more manly. So he did, was like the biggest hulkster ever. Swanson, the Hulkster.

  Christopher Columbraj back in the day was a fool. The earth is round? ... ROUND?? What can I say? People we're simps way back when. Foolishness comes from society's lack of being smart. Because Columbus didn't have his crap together so he can prove his superior thoughts about world shapes... he looked like an chode! AND WHO'S LAUGHING NOW, right?? Well not Columbus... cause he's dead... like really freakin dead. BUT pretty sure we're allowed to laugh for him, I mean I wouldn't care if I was in current situation. Pile of dusty bones.

   No one understood the master of the seas. But did that make him any less masterful? So what about us... the Masters of Manliness... we may not be understood for how manly we and our muscles are... BUT THAT DOESN'T MAKE US ANY LESS MANLIER. BECAUSE WE'RE MEN... who don't need to wash our hands. You know, because of our huge muscles. Which stop germs. Because of how deep they are.

  So next time you watch your manager walk out of the bathroom and shake your hand with those dirty, germ infested bathroom hands, you be thankful that us men are strong enough to do that. We aren't afraid of a little sickness, we're not even afraid of a lot of sickness.

   Man Muscles... A necessary accessory... A necessory... in fighting germs.
 

Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Fast food or slow-as-ever supper....

   Fast food of course! Think about all you have to do in your day. You may have class, work, chores, hogs to feed, the back 40 to plow, your day is stacked my friend. Now it's the middle of your hectic day and you totally had zero time to pack a lunch that would have been incredibly too hard to make yourself in the first place. I mean peanut butter, jelly, bread... come on that's like 3 ingredients. Lets not get too carried away right? Not trying to be a chef. But I digress.

   It's lunch time and you need that food NOW. What's the worst a Cookout tray is going to do to you? Maybe a little gas, kinda sluggish after awhile, but hey by that point it's about quitting time anyway. Dinner comes around and its the same situation, I know. Timmy is in the well, the toilet is stopped up, and to top it off the dog just chunked on the stairs. Oh, and its purple. Now do you feeling like calling in some food and actually eating tonight or are you just going to starve? Because lord knows if you have to take that extra 15 minutes out of your time to put into preparing dinner, you WILL regret it.

   What if that 15 minutes could have been spent doing something heroic? Like saving a life? Neighbor's little girl is playing in the road, truck comes flying in. Barrelling towards her? SWOOOP that child up and save her life dude? Yea, you won't catch me making dinner. I don't waste a minute when it comes to saving people from trucks and other stuff that drives on roads, and are big, and can run over a little girl that I could've definitely saved. I'm a superhero but with like the power to save people from being run-ned over. That's all there is to it.

  So fast food makes a couple people fat, maybe they can't handle the fast lane!!! Just because they're getting sick and dying all over the place doesn't mean us WINNERS can't go out and eat as many Cookout queso's in under a minute, right? Screw that fitness-kick bro! Who says fitness is even real??